Maybe I'll just have to party by myself
Updated: Jun 9
I can't help but wonder what kind of bug could withstand the fumigating antibiotic that Avie inhales twice a day. I guess the simple answer is some kind of virus. so I go back a few days, try to peel the layers of the onion that is my memory, but I can't find any obvious exposure. There aren't any coughing children or snotty noses in the recent weeks.
Then I remember- a tiny coughing baby. My friend's lovely, perfect bundle of joy was sick. Neither one of us thought it would matter. Avie wasn't hanging out with the little one and we were all mostly outside. Is it even possible that Avie's warmer-than-usual, cranky-pants little under-the-weather self is a result of that tiny, fresh human? I hope not.
I hope not on so many levels.
For one thing, most of my friends are parents of multiples. I am fully aware of how a cold can tornado around the home; one kid, then the next, then the parents, repeat. Is it even possible to say "everybody's healthy"? How much can I trust that they all actually are- even if there are no current symptoms. It seems like we would need to wait weeks for the All Clear to be given.
We already have to ask about the health of our adult friends and their toddlers before agreeing to attend a something. And if it's the baby, with her face burried in mommy breast and tula baby carrier, does that really prevent us all from getting together? If even the tiniest member of a family can get my girl sick, then we are talking about tons of missed gatherings.
Which brings me to the next reason that I hope this isn't true: I'll miss out on even more festivities. Avie is young and is not always aware of the parties and play dates going on without her. But I am. I know that it will be another day, another lunch/dinner/park trip that I will have to skip. More inside jokes and selfies with friends missed.
I have enough moments of feeling left-out as it is, I don't want to add to it. Even more so- I don't want to resent little Avie one day, for being the reason I have missed out. It's selfish of me to think that way, I know. All I can do is prepare myself for those moments and remember who I do this all for.
Her health is worth me missing every event for the rest of time... or at least until she's gone off to college and I can go out again!