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Mommy Blog

February 15, 2019

How can I process hurting someone I never wanted to hurt, but HAD to hurt, in order to save them?

How can I move forward from a decision made not with malice, but that carried malice along with it because I BROUGHT it.  Because I needed to, in order to justify to others what I knew in my heart was right.  In the end it was the right decision. 

I can play positive.  I can pretend happy.  I can move unscathed, unshaken,...

August 2, 2018

You know what happens to me every year? 

I screw up the Christmas cards. 

Seriously, every year!  I think, "oh I have plenty of time" and then before you know it- it's January 10th and I'm just getting those suckers in the mail.  Sorry family!  Thanks for knowing me well enough to assume my Christmas cards will be arriving no later than Valentines Day.

But, I'm happy to say that it's not going to happen this year...  I...

June 18, 2018

A couple days ago, I received a box of all the medications I will be using for IVF.   I knew the box was coming, since I was the one who ordered it, so there was no surprise when I saw the package on the doorstep.  

What WAS surprising, however, was how LARGE the box was.  I was told that there would be some refrigerated medications packed in ice, so I assumed that was the reason for the box size.

Nope.  

The...

May 17, 2018

I can't help but wonder what kind of bug could withstand the fumigating antibiotic that Avie inhales twice a day.  I guess the simple answer is some kind of virus.  so I go back a few days, try to peel the layers of the onion that is my memory, but I can't find any obvious exposure.  There aren't any coughing children or snotty noses in the recent weeks.

Then I remember- a tiny coughing baby.  My friend's lovely, perf...

May 15, 2018

I did something today that terrified me: I took my daughter to lunch at a restaurant- by myself.

We take her out with us all the time, but it's a whole new ballgame when you don't have a partner to help.  Just getting the enzymes and applesauce into her mouth takes two steady hands and a patient head.  Here's how this went down: I'm not sure if I've mentioned this in other blog posts, but we are selling our house.  For those of...

May 4, 2018

I had such a precious moment this morning that made me realize something deep and profound.  It dawned on me that all I have ever done, in my whole life, was preparing me for for that moment and every minute of every day moving forward.

I was in bed, still exhausted even after sleeping for 8 hours when my daughter called out from her room.  She told me that she was all done sleeping and I dragged my worn out limbs int...

May 1, 2018

When I start to worry about Avie's future, I find comfort in knowing that programs are available for us.

Avie is still young, but I'm connected enough to know that CF patients can have a tough time living "normal" lives.  Their health issues (hospital stays or not) take them out of school frequently enough to make passing classes and graduating quite difficult.  Not to mention the financial burdens that come along with this dis...

April 30, 2018

We want Avalyn to have a sibling.  That single statement could open up a whole platform for debate about the benefits, or not, of having a sibling- but that's not why I'm posting this.  Honestly, I am posting this because I feel like it might help someone else struggling to make a decision in a similar situation.  Even if that person chooses a different path than ours, I will be happy knowing that they've done so after reading...

April 13, 2018

I am not the type of Mother who has all sorts of fun activities at hand.   I've heard of those women and I kneel at their feet.  However, I've noticed that the older Avalyn gets, the quicker and more halting her boredom is.  It forces me to come up with something for her to do, something to keep her occupied, happy, and detached from my shirttail. 

Yesterday was one of those days.  I had a TON of things to d...

March 22, 2018

If I have one fault as a Mother it's that I am easily distracted (I know that I probably have many other failings, but I think this one is sort of a catalyst for some of the others).  This isn't like the "shiny object" type of distraction- although, my husband will tell you that I will turn into a 9 year old girl when I see a cat walk by, "Kitty!!". 

What I'm talking about is the kind of distraction that happens in my head when...

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